SUCCESS MENTALITY: AN IMPORTANT INGREDIENT TO A CHILD’S SUCCESS Part 2
In part 1, we discussed Success Mentality as an important factor to a child’s success. We would discuss the impact of a success mentality and how it can be built. It should be noted that this is based on the writer’s opinion.
A young child was sent home from school with a note to his mother. When asked by the child what the note read, the mother’s eyes tearful read aloud “Your son is a genius, this school is too small for him and doesn’t have enough good teachers for training him. Please teach him yourself.” After many years the mother died. The child who was now an adult was looking through old family things. He stumbled on his school note to his mother and opened it. On the paper was : Your son is addled (mentally ill). We won’t let him come to school anymore. That addled child by school standards became Thomas Edison, one of America’s greatestinventors- the inventor of the electric bulb.
I do wonder how many teachers have made such judgment on different children today. I wonder how many parents who had the opportunity to be different like Edison’s Mom exercised such uniqueness. I have heard of a parent who consistently talks down on his children and as time went on, the children no longer gave in their best to have a good performance in school. They had the opinion that irrespective of what they do, it cannot change their father’s opinion about them. Our parents should never allow the world give a judgment on a child’s capability based on formal education. The proclamation of a child as a failure has a devastating effect on a child. The contrast is the effect for the proclamation of a child as a success; it has encouraging and inspiring effect. Success mentality can breed confidence, independence and inspiration to a child. It gives a sense of responsibility to the child and pursues failure and fear, which stands as an obstacle to a child’s achievement. The positive and good thought of himself breeds good feeling and attitude about himself which aids his learning towards education and life, in general.I have heard and seen intelligent people fail not because of inability to do well but because of the fear of failure, which is a product of the failure mentality
A success mentality cannot be over emphasized for the leaders of tomorrow;infact, if we want to see an excellent future, this is a necessity. However, it takes conscious effort to instill such mentality into your kids.
Our mentality is developed overtime through interaction with our immediate environment i.e. people, books, media etc. They all influence our thinking and our behavior; therefore, it is essential to monitor your child’s interaction and things that could influence the child.
1. Have a relationship with your kids: Parent-child communication constantly helps to develop a better relationship with your child and gives you the opportunity to learn more about his or her likes, dislikes, passion, and interests. Recent research shows that a parent’s sensitivity and responsiveness in the first few years of a child’s life has lifelong consequences for children’s academic and social competence.Learn how to write inspirational letters to them on how you believe in them, how much of a success they are. If they solve any little problemapplaud both in private and public. Remember the child is on a journey and every step of progress is relevant in building his confidence.
2. Guide your child to their passions but don’t push them: It is tempting for parents to choose specific activities their child should engage in because they think they have the right to. The better approach should be to suggest options while letting the child’s interest guide them. E.g. want your child to play music? Let them pick the instrument. Want your child to be more active? Let them pick a sport or activity.Remember chemistry may not be useful to a musician neither may craft be useful to a doctor. Self Discovery is key to success.
3. Teach your kids responsibility and accountability: This means teaching your child how to take care of themselves and others, as well as managing personal belongings, a school life, etc. learning responsibility doesn’t happen overnight. Duties should be assigned to children gradually, it boosts accomplishment. E.g. elementary school kids should be able to shower, wash their plates, clean their rooms and do some basic chores. Eventually, as they get older, they should be able to handle certain tasks and projects on their own. Teaching your child responsibility at an early age combats the dependency and entitlement attitude in them.
4. Encourage trying over winning: the most successful people in life do two things differently. First, they are more willing to take risks and fail frequently. Secondly, they use their failure positively as a source of motivation and feedback to improve on. Teach your child the value of learning to make mistakes and participating in new activities for the experience. This makes them better at handling setbacks, more resilient and ready to try again and strategize.
5. Build self-esteem in all interactions: Do not equate your child’s self-worth with their performance. The most harmful mistake parents make is withdrawing emotionally from their children due to perceived failure. Do not write them off when it seems like they are falling behind. Instead, support them and reassure them that they are not failures while looking for ways to help them out in their problem areas. E.g. is your child behind in mathematics? Look for a home tutor to assist and encourage them along the way. Do not forget to cheer them as they make progress even if it seems little. This builds your child’s self-esteem and gives him the mentality he has what it takes to succeed.
6. Avoid comparisons and respect developmental differences: Supportive parents do not use other children to compare and evaluate their child’s progress. Comparisons are inaccurate and destructive. Each child is special and unique. Constantly comparing your child kills his/her self-esteem.
7. Encourage your child to compete against him/herself: Teach your child that the ultimate goal is to challenge himself and improve continuously. Children should compete against their own potential instead of focusing on beating someone else. This makes them more relaxed, have more fun and perform better.
8. Give them special attention if needed: If your child is not performing well and you do not have the time to help, you can hire a professional to help give that extra attention. Once your child is with the right professional it can help boost the child’s moral. It can even help them become independent learners. If you do not know any professional tutor, contact Smart Mind Tutors , we’ve got the solution you need to build and nurture your child for not only academic but also life-success because we have a priority of instilling the success mentality in the minds of our students.
Any type of excellence that wants to be achieved starts with a mentality that sustains positivity, productivity and motivation throughout the task that needs to be achieved. Begin today